Recently I have been trying to think through what is going on in my life of in the areas of friendships and work/career decisions and my relationship with the Lord. Then tonight something my boyfriend said over sushi at Blue and the scriptures we discussed at Simple Free put it in a new perspective and pierced to the heart of the issue. (Or maybe I should say, “poked really solidly at the issue,” because I have a feeling it is just a start at what God wants to teach me).
Over sushi I realized I was not wanting to think too far down the line about my pursuit of a Registered Dietitian (RD) degree because I don’t want to be disappointed if things don’t work out like I plan. This is related to why I dislike silent auctions. I tend to take ownership of the item I bid on, and then experience devastation and loss when it goes to someone else. My boyfriend then put it in gambling terms pointing out that if I don’t put all my chips in one pot then I won’t have to experience complete devastation and disappointment. It’s true. I am the type who wants to put all my chips in one pot. I’ve lost so many times, I am now afraid of putting my chips anywhere, which pretty much guarantees to make me a loser in this game of life.
However, I believe that there is hope for losers like myself. I’m not convinced that wanting to put all my chips in one pot is such a bad thing. The problem is into what pot I am putting them. In our discussion at Simple Free we read from Isaiah 55 and I was reminded that God’s word stands:
“As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:10-11
What he says he will accomplish, he does. I really like this because I am so often disappointed when people say things and don’t follow through–myself included.
Also we read in I Corinthians 15. “Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain” (v. 58). He promises that what we do for him is never a waste or pointless. Which is encouraging because i’m so often afraid of committing my time and effort to something and not having it work out (like friendships).
In a very practical way this plays out in how I take ownership of my decision to pursue RD credentials. Knowing that no matter what happens I won’t be losing out, I can be responsible and wise in researching the process and my options for continuing education and financial assistance through my current employer. I have sent in my transcipts and am waiting for a reply regarding what classes I need, but in the meantime I can talk to other RD’s about their experience and hopefully avoid unnecessary stress/problems in the case that I do get accepted to an RD internship.
In a different way, it plays out very much in my attitude about work/career decisions and in relationships. Instead of being skeptical that new friendship possibilities will grow into some real, or just acting like I don’t really care about being an RD, it means I can let myself be excited about these possibilities and even daydream about them. It doesn’t mean that I don’t experience disappointment or hurt when people let me down or the RD thing doesn’t work out. Somehow, though, it feels different knowing that ultimately my hope is in Christ and his word (that never fails).
As I put all my “chips” in Christ, I need not fear any devastation.
My prayer for myself and for us all is that we would commit ourselves fully to working for the Lord in every area of our lives and believe in His Word that He will bring good out of it and be glorified in it.